If you’re like me, you’re a Memphis Tigers basketball fan still desperately grasping on to the momentous success we experienced under Cal’s tenure 10-15 years ago. Damn, it seems so much worse typing it. Being a currently sad and disillusioned fan, I spend my time thinking about my favorite players from back in the day. One such player is former All-American wing (and NBA journeyman), Chris Douglas-Roberts, affectionately called CDR by the Tigers faithful. Every so often, CDR yamming on Kevin Love in the 2008 Final Four resurfaces on basketball twitter, and it always makes me grin with blissful nostalgia. Ah who am I kiddin’, I’ll just post that shit again here:
Sadly, CDR hasn’t suited up for an NBA game in three years. So, when Fansided gifted us this article, in which they detail CDR’s post-NBA retirement transformation into “Supreme Bey,” I knew it was worth a dive into the details. What I uncovered was more than a dude who likes to eat fruit, get high, and practice yoga — this is a veritable caterpillar to butterfly tale, man. The quotes from Fansided’s piece are so unbelievable, they become absolute enlightening truth.
Teach me your ways, Supreme Bey.
Supreme Bey wakes up every morning, smokes a joint, eats a “s**tload of fruit” — some honeydew or papaya — hops on his skateboard and heads towards the south mountains in Arizona, where he occasionally records himself on Snapchat. He stands on his skateboard in his black and white “Heartthrob Club” checkered pants, positions the phone below his waist and points the camera towards his golden dreads.
How much fruit is a “shitload?” I imagine a cornucopia overflowing with delicious imported produce. I also love the idea of simultaneously seeking true zen and recording yourself on Snapchat while skateboarding. Are these antics bizarre or has Bey truly discovered the key to existential happiness?
Take it from Bey himself, who calls humans “star-seed[s]”:
“A lot of the things I’m saying — when people read it, it’s going to sound insane,” Bey said. “But it’s just my truth. I know the s**t I say isn’t typical. I know what you’re thinking. My DNA was changing in the NBA — I was going through rebirths. I became more caring and compassionate. S**t that used to matter doesn’t matter anymore. I started seeing people suffering all over the world. It just got to a point when I couldn’t ignore it. It was within me. It’s a rebirth. The old person — my 3-D self — is dead.”
Yooooo. He can say this til he’s blue in the face, but you know he wishes one of his many “rebirths” included a consistent three-point stroke given the importance of 3-and-D wing players in today’s NBA. However, it appears that the CDR NBA player of yesteryear is gone, and emerged from the cocoon is the compassionate and caring Supreme Bey, who battles global injustice from his mansion on social media.
Bey even started an independent agency (DCTG Media Agency), which assists athletes who have experienced similar awakenings. Bey, however, is reaching for the stars with his aspirations:
“I’ve been Supreme,” Bey said. “This is who I was before I got here. Supreme is my true self. [CDR] was just someone who I was until I discovered myself. Now, this is my soul speaking. I’m a being of light, love and knowledge. Before, it was just a body and a voice. We’re souls. This body is just a vessel we use for this time being on this planet. . . .
“My main purpose in life is to raise humanity,” Bey said. “This isn’t some superhero s**t, but in a way it is. I feel like Captain Planet sometimes.”
And in this journey of superhero shit, Bey, I know you will succeed. After all, “the power is yours.” — Captain Planet. My body is a vessel, my life is yours, Supreme Bey, I shall not want.
[Photos by David Calvert/NBAE via Getty Images]