Bum of the Week: Ronaldo Sculptor, Emanuel Santos

Take another quick look at the picture comparison above.  On the left is renowned international futbol star, Cristiano Ronaldo.  On the right is the mentally-challenged inbred murderer villain from The Hills Have Eyes.

Whoa, that’s not true.  In actuality, these two images are supposed to be *SPOILER ALERT* BOTH Ronaldo.  Ronaldo recently had an airport named after him and this statute was, in theory, placed outside to commemorate his namesake and fame.  Because of the scuptor’s obvious failure to create Ronaldo’s likeness (much less that of a non-mutated human being), Emanuel Santos is The BarnBurner’s Bum of the Week.

Today, Santos hilariously attempted to justify his blunder.  In an interview with The Guardian, he explained:

“It is impossible to please the Greeks and Trojans. Neither did Jesus please everyone.  This is a matter of taste, so it is not as simple as it seems.”

I respect the “ehh, fuck it and fuck you” response that Santos adopts here, but whose “taste” is he speaking of?  Is there anyone that thinks this sculpture is an artistic achievement?  It’s not so different from Ronaldo’s face that Santos could argue that the sculpture is “abstract” or whatever.  It’s clear that he was actually attempting to recreate Ronaldo’s likeness.  C’mon, Santos.  Don’t artificially create some class of art savants that would appreciate this POS.

In truth, you’ve got one job as an artist when you’re tasked with recreating a famous figure in an artistic medium.  When you’re finished, folks should be able to tell who that person is on their own without being told.

Now, that could even take the form of the sculpture striking a famous or career-defining pose:


There’s no mistaking that as Shaq.  He’s throwing down a thunderous dunk in Laker purple ‘n gold.  YOU HAD ONE JOB, SANTOS!

Not surprisingly, the internet had a lot of fun with this:

Oh well, Santos.  Maybe there will be other incredibly good looking athletes willing to let you turn them into 4s.  In the meantime, you’re #BumOfTheWeek.

{Shaq photo from nba.com}

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