A Message to Millennials Looking for Love and Who Just Want to Make It

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL HAPPENED TO DATING? 

Wait, I got a little heated just now, let me start over. Technology has undeniably changed the way this generation approaches dating. The rise of various online dating apps has lead to a culture change that one can only perceive as negative. Before you dismiss me as an old timer clinging to the good ole days mentality, I invite you to take a moment to consider the ratio of positive experiences to negative ones you have had (or heard of) with such apps. Got the ratio? If you are being honest with yourself you know that it is pretty damn terrible. Hiding behind a phone screen does not allow anyone to put their best foot forward. People are using these apps to say and do terrible things to each other that would never happen in person. Let’s go to the monitor and look at some unfortunate and all too common examples:

Opening Lines That Are Downright Creepy:

Men, (or man-children in this case) you might have guessed this one was directed at you. Sex is an intimate activity, even when there are no strings attached. No one, and i mean NO ONE is going to fuck you immediately. If sex is the only thing you want, the person may or may not be cool with that, but it takes getting to know them first to find out. If you hit someone up for sex immediately, they will not be having sex with you (even if all they want is a hookup themselves). If you think going for sex stuff immediately is a good way to weed out the people who don’t want to hook up, you’re wrong! It’s only a good way to get yourself weeded out. Control your hormones for fuck’s sake! If you don’t have time to get to know someone for sex, you should hire a prostitute, and if you are opening with sex stuff, I have news for you, you’re not too good to pay for sex.

People Refusing to Acknowledge Each Other:

This is simple human decency, if someone makes an actual effort to talk to you and is respectful, either let them know you aren’t interested, or say something back. If you refused to acknowledge someone in person who was being respectful and trying to talk to you, that makes you an asshole. Doing it online doesn’t suddenly make it okay.

People Losing Their Shit Because They Can’t Handle Rejection:

On the other side of the previous point, if you find yourself rejected by someone, don’t throw some hissy fit! Talking shit to the person who rejected you only makes you look pathetic. Be mature and realize that if they don’t want to talk to you, that’s okay because someone will and that’s where your efforts should be focused.

Catfishing:

I have no idea why this is even a real thing that happens. If you do this to people, please reevaluate your life, because catfishing never ends well, and it is straight up monstrous.

Using Photos So Old or Photo-Shopped That You Might as Well Be Catfishing:

If you present yourself as one thing, and show up to meet someone way heavier, older, or different in general, it’s not gonna go well. Almost all dating app connections begin with physical attraction. If you show up looking different from your photos, it is like you are planning to dig yourself out of 100 ft hole on the first date and you definitely won’t get a second one. Also, if you are a fat chick using excess cleavage as a device for extra matches (a dating app epidemic), that’s a sneaky trick…..but I respect it. Game recognize game. Just remember that once you aren’t sporting the cleavage and being seen from your favorite angles, that it’s probably going to have a  result similar to our photo-shoppers when meeting in person. Everyone just be honest and up front about your appearance and you will find yourself having better dates.

Ghosting:

If you date online, this has almost certainly happened to you. It’s the most annoying way to get rejected. True, it removes the awkward confrontation of the rejection, but you know how it feels by now to be left hanging, it sucks. If you don’t want to be with someone just tell them so they can move on and you won’t get twelve unanswered “hey” texts.

Dating has changed, and will never be the same. Hiding behind phone and computer screens is clearly not doing us any favors as a generation, because it has given birth to all of these aforementioned practices. We are forgetting how to be decent human beings and it’s only getting worse. If you are tired of these things happening to you, you have to stop doing them yourselves. If you want to put people on blast who are contributing to this downward spiral, share them with @BarnBurnerBlog on Twitter.
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